I feel so excited and blessed to bring you the third of lovely Rebecca Adam’s guest blog articles on the topic of love and relationship.
I see relationships as being all about respect, appreciation, and love (in that order). Together with ease and flow, alignment, great energy in each other’s company and both parties giving 100% each (not the typical 50/50 society has led us to believe).
I have a different take on relationships, having grown up being in a single-parent family and one father figure I had from the age of 4yrs – to 9yrs, was toxic, violent, and not good, shall we say. So, I’ve been raised by 2 powerhouse women (my Mum and Nan), who raised me in the knowing that respect comes before absolutely everything and that’s why it’s first on my list above, and always will be.
In love relationships, these qualities are most definitely needed as they are very powerful and will support the foundations of building that relationship. Everything is about to give and take but it’s also about being true to you, being a voice and being heard and knowing that any boundaries you may set, are respected.
I do believe you can fully give your heart to another person, but you do have to be a “whole” person and healed from any previous experience you may have had so that you can fully submerse into the new relationship you’re wanting to have.
I have been hurt and betrayed in the past, so to me, relationships are supposed to be easy – without the negative drama and BS. Yes, there may be things that come up that you must discuss but the relationship, as a whole, shouldn’t be strained and “hard” at all. This makes having fun in the relationship all the better.
The alignment and being on the same page as the other person is truly important too so that you can both grow and expand and encourage each other in life and business or work. Discussing each other’s upbringing and also the future would be great at the beginning, so you can respect each other’s upbringing and way of thinking, but you also need to be open to change and growth as both parties will change over the years of being together.
Communication is key to any relationship and also mindset, especially money mindset needs discussing so that both parties can uplevel their mindset on aspects that can make or break their relationship. Money is a big thing that a lot of people break up over and have arguments about so working on this is crucial for longevity.
For me, as an empath, introvert and Aquarius, I need my alone time in order to charge up and protect my energy so respecting space in a relationship would be a good thing too. I think a lot of couples have issues when they’re with each 24/7/365, (in each other’s pockets), and don’t allow themselves time-out to spend with friends, work colleagues and family without the other person.
You need to give each other space so that you have more things to talk about and also to add value to the relationship. When choosing someone you’re not choosing them for a day or a week – you’re choosing them to do life with and that’s a wonderful and great thing.
I would say – get to know yourself first, respect yourself and don’t lower your boundaries for anyone (and no, that doesn’t mean you’re high-maintenance), it means that there are certain standards you won’t go below and that’s a good thing.
Know that you are worthy, enough, and powerful all by yourself and you do NOT need another person to complete you.
Be you, no matter who you’re with and go out there and enjoy life. Make sure the person you’re with is your friend, smile, laugh, have fun, and make memories.
I feel really excited, honoured and blessed to bring you the second of three articles by lovely Rebecca Adams. In this blog post, Rebecca shares valuable life-enhancing tips around self-Love & self-care. You will learn how you can fulfil your well-being goals and free up some well-deserved me-time.
Self-love and Self-care is NOT selfish. It’s important and is needed.
It truly is a gift you can give to yourself on a daily basis in order to nurture yourself, heal your soul and mind and also to help you be relaxed and take care of.
Feeling supported is powerful and when you can pour into yourself it truly will change your life, but you have to see that it doesn’t all mean spa days and spending lots of money. It can be a simple as painting your toenails, having a hot sea salt bath, burling up in a blanket and reading your book or listening to music.
Self-care and self-love can also mean saying no to things you don’t want to do or that hurt your soul. You know those things that feel seriously icky, and your gut is screaming at you to not do them – yes, those things. Just say no.
Empowering yourself, remembering that you are a king and queen and to keep your crown on your head and setting boundaries within your life are something that you need to give yourself permission to do and have.
You are not available to and for everyone and you are here to live your life fully, to fathom out why you’re here and to run with it daily and enjoy your experience whilst you’re here without feeling unworthy and drained by chasing after everything or others.
Be grateful every day and know that by saying yes to you more – you will increase your energy, your positive thoughts and emotions and you’ll feel much better too.
I love to practise gratitude, just be present in silence and read. I love to take walks in nature amongst the trees and I also need alone time, for me to charge up. What lights my soul is doing the things I love and being content and at peace. They light me up considerably and it really is wonderful to experience.
To look after myself, I make sure that I use dōTERRA essential oils, I drink plenty of water, eat fruit and my rainbow colour food, get Vit D from the sun, fresh air, and sleep. I also go for walks when I’m not working and I always try and laugh at something every day – it’s great to smile and laugh – it’s good for the soul right?
I also surround myself with people who align with me and my energy. I choose now not to have discussions about topics that drain me and I will always protect my energy 100%.
There are many decisions I’ve made to look after myself and my mindset, energy and boundaries over the years and you can do this too. I look at what I love to do vs what I don’t like and I delete and get rid of anything that doesn’t serve me.
Self-love and self-care is a practise you need to bring into your life daily so you have pockets of time, even if it’s 15 minutes, that you can top-up yourself. It truly is worth doing and think about it….. if you can top up a minimum of 15 minutes per day for a year that’s a lot of time for yourself and that’s as you bring it into your life.
When you can change your lifestyle to have this routine in your life constantly and you uplevel it to an hour a day, then that’s even more time for you to take care of yourself.
Know that you are the hub of the house and you’re very important so you need to be okay so that you can take care of others too – but, YOU come first! ~ always!
INTERNATIONAL LIFE, BUSINESS & MINDSET MASTERY MENTOR ™
I am so honoured, humbled and blessed to have Rebecca Adams as a guest on my blog. Thank you lovely Rebecca for saying yes and writing such an awe-inspiring account of your journey into motherhood and being mum to your two beautiful children – Phoebe and Dominic. Rebecca’s story is so moving, inspiring and so poignant as we celebrate Mothering Sunday this weekend.
Enjoy this thought-provoking blog post by the amazing Rebecca Adams.
Anyone who knows me or watches my Facebook live streams knows that I’m Real & Raw 100% all the time, so I’m going to tell you I absolutely LOVE being a Mum, but there are those days that I actually don’t want to do it either. Namely, after my son has attacked me and that I’m tired of his special needs at times – no, I’m not blaming him in any way shape or form, but as a special needs mum, I do get fed up and tired of it at times.
I’ll take you back in time….. I am Generation X and I was raised by my Mum and Nan, so 2 amazingly wonderful women, who had strict rules in place that couldn’t be broken and disciplined like anything! Then, I joined the military at 16yrs old, so again, lots of discipline and rules.
Everything I have experienced in my life, including the situations, heartbreaks and much more, has moulded me into the parent I am today. Uplevelling my mindset has got me through everything over the years and I’m known for being a strong person and a strict parent, and I do have boundaries in place for both of my children.
When I was growing up, my Mum was always at work, so my Nan looked after me. I remember Mum not being able to come to sports days or parents’ evenings or even picking me up from school. I also have memories of Mum working on certain days, especially Christmas Day so she’d earn more money, so we wouldn’t have our presents or dinner til after 14.30hrs when she got home from work. Growing up with all of this happening was completely different to some of my friends.
I always knew that I wanted to raise any children, if I had any, different to what I’d experienced and especially when my son was diagnosed at 3yrs old with Autism, (and all that goes with it including anxiety, speech and language and much more), so I’ve had to grieve for the son that would have been, should have been and could have been. Difficult to take at times.
I knew with that diagnosis and moving back down south, that I was unemployable and that I’d have to create work for myself. This actually gave me the outlet to be flexible, design my days, start a business and be there whenever my child needed me. So, when my daughter was born, I knew that when my son was at his specialist school, I could take her out and about with me, whilst I worked.
Over the years my parenting skills have improved, with having one child with special needs and one who is mainstream – I see both worlds and what they’re like. My “voice” came from having my son and having to speak up, stand my ground and fight the system for the simplest of things, not only for him but for others in his class etc. The special needs life that I’m living day in and day out has made me tougher, stronger, and much more powerful and I am grateful for that, as I’ve been an advocate for so many.
As a Mum through my experiences, I have a different take on things. My children are not my possession. They are individual souls inside their own human vessel, and they must experience life themselves with no pressure or resistance from me. My job as a parent is to make them as independent as they most possibly can be because I’m not going to be around forever. And, as long as they are happy, they can do what they wish. I respect their wishes above everything, and I am blessed to have them in my life.
The one thing that people don’t know about me, is that I have to stay alive longer than my son is on the planet and that may seem odd to some people and others will understand me. It’s not weird, because the way I see it is that if anything happens to me (as the system is flawed), his sister will take him on, and I don’t really want to give her and her family the enormity of that responsibility.
Our lives are very different as there are certain places we can’t / won’t go to. My son won’t ever live alone, get married, drive a car, and can’t hold a full conversation with you. He doesn’t understand and comprehend stuff so that’s why I have to stay alive longer than him so that I can take care of everything, and he’ll be okay. The massive task he would have to grieve for the loss of me in his life, as I do everything for him, is too big to even comprehend.
As an empath, I truly respect and understand energy. As a Mum to my own children, I know they pick up on everything and so I’m understanding them as individuals, what they’re about, what their triggers are (even as they are 19yrs and 23yrs as I write this) and much more. I respect their space, their answers, their lives and also everything about them.
I must say it’s a truly unique experience as I have different relationships with my children, of which I’m so blessed. My children were outstandingly incredible reading out poems at their grandma’s funeral, listening as I told them that their Dad had died and also with us moving homes as we have over the years.
The one thing I will say is that I am a Mama Bear and protective as anything over my children. They were raised as Army kids and I would walk through fire for them both. They are the apple of my eye and I love them both immensely, with all my heart, mind, body, and soul.
I’m so blessed and honoured they chose me to be their Mum.
International Life, Business & Mindset Mastery Mentor | ™#1 International Bestselling Author | Law of Attraction Practioner | NLP Practioner | Belief Clearing Practitioner | Entrepreneur & Businesswoman | Motivator & Speaker | Book Publisher | Website Building | Creative Director of the Ignite Live Event
I feel so happy and blessed to welcome Maria Harris to my blog. Thank you lovely Maria for sharing such a beautiful heartfelt story about your journey into motherhood and becoming mum to beautiful little Ruby.
Enjoy this wonderful blog by lovely MARIA HARRIS.
Let me take you back to my teen years. I was told for 13 years I was unable to have kids, and I had always said I wanted two kids when the time was right, so I just held on to the small chance I could possibly have children at some point. I lost both my parents by the time I turned 30, 4-years and 4-days apart. As you can imagine losing both parents and being an only child tore me apart, and I had got to the stage where I really didn’t want to be around anymore and just wanted to be back with my parents as they were my whole world.
While during this really low and vulnerable time period in my life, a year after my mum had passed and on my dad’s 5th Anniversary of Death, I found out I was pregnant. To say it was a massive shock is an understatement.
But I truly believe my daughter was given to me by the universe and my parents looking down on me. Finding this information out changed my entire life and entire outlook on everything. As you will see below on my Journey to Motherhood.
So after finding out I was pregnant, I did whatever I could to get myself back and organised and sorted for my little princess. My pregnancy was thankfully very nice and easy going but I had lots of different things to cope with, deal with and prove during the time I was pregnant. But it was the best thing ever to happen to me as it’s made me the even more strong-willed woman I’ve become today.
On my Road during motherhood I’ve had a lot to deal with and sort and process. There is more information on some of this journey in my chapter in “Smashing Through The Stop Sign of Life” which I wont go into during this blog.
This journey has given me a new lease of light and focus and a realisation that life is still worth living, being grateful for all the memories I have of my childhood growing up with both my parents and then being able to take these skills into now raising my own child. My focus now is always on making sure I can provide for my daughter show her you can achieve anything you want to with hard work, strength, determination and motivation.
By having her in my life, I found a new sense of independence and a new goal for my life. She truly has made me become myself again and a lot more as well. I’ll be forever grateful to have her, and she is now my only focus and making sure she grows up safe, with a roof over her head and some true values in life.
When I got my focus back and realised I can achieve anything and seeing how my old surroundings were affecting her and also myself feeling trapped, I made the huge decision to up and relocate away to give her a better lease of life and also allow me to restart my journey in life to becoming the newer version of myself that I had envisioned in becoming. So in December 2020, I relocated with my daughter set up a new family home and also a brand new business that I had been putting off for 3 years.
Once we were moved in and all sorted, I can honestly say my daughter is a lot happier, getting on a lot in school; our relationship has grown even stronger as now I’m home and not out at work, and she was with my housemate.
It’s also teaching her that you achieve anything in fact even at 4-years old she wants to try and be involved in mummy’s business, and only last weekend she asked me “mummy can I work from home when I’m older” to my surprise as she’s only four, but my reply quite simply put “you can be and do anything you like, and that includes working from home”. That one sentence from my 4-year-old says it all. I’m showing her that you can do anything, and I can still be a mum and work from home, and I can still take time to go outside and still work as well.
If I can say anything to mums out there, be it a single parent or a 2-parent family, you can be a brilliant mum and run your own business, and your children will remember you working hard and teaching them anything is possible. Don’t sit on the fence; just go for it and become a happier you in finding a great way to balance your life.
Thank you to Imani for asking me to do a blog for her; I truly appreciate it. Keep being the strong woman you are as well.
Many Thanks Always remember you are stronger than you believe Maria
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“Wherever you are, and whatever you do, be in love.”
Has the passion and magic left your relationship?
Are you finding it challenging to communicate with your partner?
Do you feel like strangers with very little interaction?
Are you wondering whether you should stay or go?
If you are experiencing any of these issues in your relationship – keep reading!
In this article, you will discover the secret to how one couple used five juicy love tips to turn their relationship around and enjoyed more love than ever before.
Be creative find different ways to express your love for your partner
Saying “I Love You” to your partner is sweet, but there are many other ways to show love and keep the fire burning in your relationship.
After the honeymoon phase is over, many people complain that their partner is no longer motivated to do what it takes to show love and keep the passion alive.
So how do you get back that deep passion that leaves you trembling with desire for your significant other?
Celia and Jason’s story
Celia and Jason had been seeing each other for about two years and felt their relationship had run its course. They argued all the time and were spending less quality time together.
They both had busy lives with numerous responsibilities that kept them away from each other most of the week. Most weeks, they were not even spending the weekends together. Celia felt lonely and unloved. Jason felt that Celia had changed.
They both decided to split up and go their separate ways, as they felt that they had gone as far as they could and that the relationship had no future.
Celia had contacted a dating coach about her relationship issues with Jason. Her coach advised her to take time out to have some me-time before making any new decisions. Celia decided to go to a spa for a few days.
Celia really needed the break; she slept through most of day one. She worked very hard on that big project at work and now needed this break to recuperate. Celia really wanted that promotion and felt that her hard work merited it.
She knew that she had made many sacrifices that had contributed to the breakup. Jason had also put the relationship last on his list as he spent every waking minute working on his business. They had spoken about moving in together, but they never got round to it.
As Celia relaxed in the jacuzzi spa, she realised what she had been missing. She and Jason had not spent any quality time together in ages. In the past, they would eat out at restaurants; go on short trips away together. They had an active dating life. Every Saturday was scheduled for something to do so that they could be together.
Away from it all, Celia could see clearly what had happened and why they had drifted apart. As she looked through her phone messages, she thought to herself, ‘these texts are so loveless and boring they could be for anyone; there was no love heart emojis, just two or three-word boring messages.’ In contrast, they would carefully craft flirty little seductive texts that tickled the mind and revved up the heart during the early days of their relationship.
Celia thought to herself, ‘well, that was the past; I have to learn from this and be more present in my next relationship. But she didn’t want another relationship, but neither did she want the dull, distant relationship she had just left. Celia still had feelings for Jason. She wanted to be with him, but the relationship would have to change. Settling was not an option for her. She also knew that a quality relationship required work.
It was the last evening of Celia’s spa getaway. Her Coach, Amanda, had advised her to write daily in her journal about her feelings, thoughts, and anything she felt would help her through the grieving process.
Celia wrote a love letter to Jason (that she would never send). She poured out her feelings onto two sheets of paper, and when she read it back, tears fell down her cheeks. Jason was the love of her life, and now he’s gone. They had done this to each other, she was too busy chasing her career, and he was still pursuing his business.
Celia Returns Home – Determined to Live a More Balanced Life
It was time to head back home. Celia boarded her plane and reflected on everything that had happened. She felt at ease. She did not know what the future held but was determined to live a more balanced life.
Six months later……
Celia and Jason decided to get back together. Jason had contacted Celia to let her know that he was missing her and wanted to give it another go. They both went for couples coaching and decided to put their relationship first. The sparkle that was missing in their relationship returned. They were more in love than ever before.
They had followed the advice that their Coach Amanda had given them, and it made all the difference to their relationship.
Here are the five steps they took to show love and turn a dull, ordinary relationship into an extraordinary one.
(a) Reflective Communication and Conflict Resolution
Jason and Celia took time to send well thought out texts that dazzled the mind, body and soul. They were left daydreaming about each other all day. These texts were alluring and seductive, bringing out the temptress in her and the seducer in him.
This is something that anybody can do to stir up the emotions in the one that they love. You don’t have to think hard about what to say; just share your true feelings and throw in a few spicy words that ignite and excite the soul, and your partner will love you even more.
(b) How to communicate when you are away from each other
Celia and Jason also practised reflective communication. In the past, Celia and Jason would talk over each other or ignore each other’s words. Sometimes they would even leave the room if they did not like what they heard. This caused a lot of pain and resentment and created distance between them.
Today Celia and Jason listen to each other, ready to learn and understand. Allowing the other person to speak fully before responding. They now repeat back to each other what the other said. (This one tip alone has helped Celia and Jason grow closer, enhancing their love for each other).
2. Quality Time Together – (Sacred Date Night or Time Away Together)
Celia and Jason decided that they were ready to move in together. They could now spend more quality time together enjoying each other’s company.
Remember, the couple that spends time together grows in love together.
(a) Sacred Date Night
Another way Celia and Jason grew and shared love was to take time out for dating; sometimes, they go out, other times, they enjoy a romantic evening indoors.
They understand that their time together is sacred, just the two of them and no one else. No friends or family, no work or business discussions. Both phones put on ‘don’t disturb mode.’
It’s exciting for them to go and paint the town dressed in their favourite Gladrags, or just dress casually and enjoy time in nature. They understand that this time needs to be scheduled; otherwise, it will get swept up with all their other ‘urgencies’ in life.
3. Love Language
Words of affirmation,
Acts of service, and
One of Amanda’s tips to Celia and Jason was to find out each of their love languages.
Celia and Jason loved all 5 love languages but were drawn to one more than any other. Celia loved quality time, and Jason loved words of affirmation.
4. Love Letters
Celia suggested this tip. She felt that it really helped the person writing the letter remember all the beautiful things they love about the other. Whilst it touched the soul of the recipient. Jason was not sure about letter-writing at first but found that it brought out the best in Celia, and now he looks forward to writing messages from his heart to hers.
Why not write love letters and poems for your significant other
Why not leave a love note for your loved one? (This can be posted in the bathroom or kitchen before leaving for work).
You could also leave a beautiful love poem under their pillow (that they could discover before bedtime or first thing in the morning. Or
Send a handwritten love letter to their work address.
Like love-texting, this is something that anybody can do to stir up the emotions in the one that they love. You don’t have to think hard about what to say; just share your true feelings and throw in a few spicy words that ignite and excite the soul, and your partner will love you even more.
5. Relationship Goals – Shared Vision
Celia and Jason struggled with getting closer because they did not have shared plans and a vision for the future. They spent a lot of time on their business and career goals but did not plan what they wanted as a couple.
When you include each other in your dreams and future, your partner will be more willing to invest in the relationship because there is a tangible asset that you both are invested in.
What benefits will you gain when you apply these five relationship tools?
You don’t have to change everything all at once. Try one at a time and build on your success.
Applying any one of these powerful relationship tools will spice up your love life. However, when you use all five, your love for each other will explode, and your relationship will become something you cherish and are proud of for many years to come.